Russian President Vladimir Putin invaded Ukraine, and all of a sudden everything that was received last week is cancelled, and we’re playing with a whole new set of rules. The endless mix of hypocrisies and non-sequences in the West, the absurd slogans that change from moment to moment, are best compared to the draw of a deck of tarot cards. Every image of the geopolitical saga as it unfolds on cable news bears no relation to anything that has come before or will come next.
Tarot card after tarot card, pundits and micro professors on TV are auguring the significance of the current crop of images and sound bites. Deeper and deeper, we are all drawn into the diplomacy of tarot cards, where foreign relations make no sense and the rules of cause and effect do not apply. The only ones who can interpret tarot cards are those who take them out and lay them out on the table. What do the events in the world mean? Nobody really knows. Only the charts can help us guess the significance of all the wild stuff that happens in every news cycle. The diplomacy of tarot cards – the strange geopolitical science practiced by the woke West.
This week, I watched people wearing Uyghur slave-made shoes and clothes take videos on slave-made phones of themselves pouring Russian vodka into storm drains across America. They then dealt another blow to freedom by posting their videos on the most censored platform since Pravda. They uploaded their staged rage to websites using software created by companies for which “free speech” and “hate speech” are synonymous. All of this has been coordinated by search engine companies that are developing special programs to help China’s thought police control 1.4 billion people.
On the other side of the pond, the European Union, from which the United Kingdom could not come out fast enough to finally be free, is now claiming Ukraine as a new member. Because freedom. “Come, let us settle you”, say the Sirens on the Rocks of Brussels. “Let us set you free.”
I do not understand. I need help. I turn on the television to get answers. A robotic swami on CNN closes his eyes and pulls a tarot deck. It’s a psychedelic portrait of Henry Kissinger, with a wink. “The ‘Knowing Rasputin’ card”, intones our swami. “All is not as it seems!”
You do not say.
There is much more. The US president, whose son is perhaps the most prolific single source of Kompromat in American history and whose family is neck-deep in corruption in Ukraine, takes a cautious approach to the Russian invasion of his child’s former bribe. This is the “Know which side your bread is buttered” card, with a picture of Harry and Meaghan on it. Makes a bit more sense, I guess. Tarot card diplomacy is not so bad.
And a week before Putin bombed Kiev, we learned that Hillary Clinton had, indeed, sparked five years of anti-Russian hysteria to cover up her many crimes. Just like Tucker Carlson said – for which he was called a Kremlin stooge and, of course, a fascist. But now that the bombs are falling on Ukraine – for which I blame no one other than Clinton’s State Department, which right after he left staged Victoria Nuland’s 2014 coup to install a staunchly anti-Russian puppet in the Ukrainian presidency – we’re not talking about Clinton or the upsets of 2014. The “You’re sleepy, very sleepy” card. (We draw that one a lot.)
But now here comes a strange tarot card. I pull out my own tarot deck and pull out the top one, which shows a photo of Howard Zinn at his desk, writing “history” with a horse quill dipped in vanishing ink. I’m not a tarot reader, but maybe it has to do with the United Nations, the globalist cabal of the victors of World War II, who were asked to expel the Russian Federation on the grounds that the Russian Federation Russia was not one of the victors in World War II. the Second World War, and also on the grounds of “war crimes” in Ukraine? (Did Zinn on the map just look up from his work and smile at me?) Josef Stalin, who has been one of the victors of World War II, committed genocide by forced starvation in Ukraine. (The New York Times covered the United States with fake news about it, for which the author of the fake news was awarded a Pulitzer Prize.) Stalin’s Soviet Union, we are now told, was far more qualified to hold a seat in the Security Council than is Vladimir Putin’s Russia. .
The Zinn card sends me thought waves, interference patterns that make history shimmer in a mirage. All of this reminds me that tarot card diplomacy goes way back. I put the Zinn card back in the game and try to remember what really happened. Well, yes, it’s all coming back to me now. Not even ten years after the mass murder of Ukrainians by the Russians, the Americans pulled the “Alliance with the Bolsheviks” tarot card, and we went to bail out the demon that starved all Ukrainians.
I decide to stop playing tarot diplomacy at home. I’m starting to not feel so good. Go back to the TV to see if anything good happens.
But now we’re at Fox News, and another diviner (with much better hair and makeup, I must admit, than his CNN counterpart) is also drawing tarot cards. She has shiny purple crystal earrings and squints as if in a seance, saying something about Washington, D.C. “Beware the polis that has hatched and plotted to invade many, many more countries than those that have declared independence from the former Soviet Union,” the Lady Fox moaned. “Washington is signaling on all wavelengths that Russian aggression will not be tolerated,” whispers our oracle, half-trance.
The crooked announcer on Fox is right. Just six months ago, Washington took flight and fled a country it invaded in 2002. Washington is still in Iraq, which it invaded in 2003 under false pretenses based on shameless lies that Washington told to… the UN.
Better take a break from all that tarot card diplomacy. Things are getting out of control. I’m on ESPN. Surely no tarot diplomacy on SportsCenter. But wait. The National Basketball Association is alongside the Ukrainian people, says the ESPN tarot reader as the Ukrainian anthem plays softly in the background. He holds the “Pooh Bear” card to his forehead and channels the three Spirits of Suspended Disbelief, Whiskey, Tango, and Foxtrot. “Ahead of an NBA game on Feb. 25, Sacramento Kings and Denver Nuggets players ‘locked arms’ in solidarity with Kings center Alex Len, a native Ukrainian,” Whisky, Tango and Foxtrot say per the intermediary of the shaman of the SportsCenter.
I guess I better be with Ukraine too. The diplomacy of tarot cards is so difficult to understand.
Yet my heart is troubled. As Ukraine is overrun by Russian tanks, all the TV shows and newspapers are pulling the same “Save the NWO” tarot card, but I’m just not convinced. I think we have to be careful. Our “partners” in Europe are godless, soulless bureaucrats who have long since abandoned their continent to the Caliphate invaders. But now should we go and defend dead Europe and its “values” from a man who does not want the Cold War museum piece, NATO, to be wedged against his front door? Isn’t it really about the Russian Orthodox Christian strongman’s disaffinity for the rainbow flag that Europeans like to fly above their embassies and inside the churches they have converted into rave rooms? Aren’t we really talking about ROY G. BIV here, and not yellow and blue?
What is even more disturbing is that the Chechen horde is joining the fight alongside the strongman, who once waged a bloody jihad against Moscow but now swears that jihad against Kiev is “the way to Allah”. Faced with the inconstant Chechens, a contingent of crypto-Nazis under old SS standard. The next card in the deck is a dragon biting its own tail. Everything under the sky is disturbed, the order of battle is askew. We also now learn that the authoritarian slipped the “Nuclear Winter” tarot card into the deck. All the more reason to abandon this idiotic deck.
And then there’s the confusing stuff that happens back home in the good old United States of A. The diplomacy of the tarot cards mixes a lot with American politics, and everything is turned upside down. The Empire State Building recently lit up in the colors of the Ukrainian flag. Awesome. Very pretty, in fact. But just two years ago, the same building was lit up in Pepto-Bismol pink in support of the then government. Andrew Cuomo’s jihad against unborn children in New York State. Chechen jihad, bad. Jihad SS, good. Cuomo jihad, also good. Governor Cuomo has also launched a Wuhan virus jihad against the elderly in New York City nursing homes. But save Ukraine! I want to cry.
In any case, the more we play this diplomacy of the tarot, the more I am on edge. In a way, this all seems like a way to divert attention from Taiwan. The “Don’t Look Now” tarot card appears, a jack-in-the-box crank by a sinister hand with very long fingernails. On the jack-in-the-box is engraved a Qing arabesque.
Here I have a confession to make. In 2016, I and about 63 million of my fellow tarot skeptics slipped a wild card into the deck of diplomatic tarot cards. The orange guy, red tie, pouty lips, looked like a giant puffer fish with jaundice. And the joker was wild! He broke all the rules of the game. He scattered the game to the winds and even went so far as to refuse to play tarot card diplomacy. He dropped into the chairs of the White House and sulked. He overturned the card table, threw the crystal balls through the windows of the Oval Office and the hand reading cards into the fireplace, and replaced the whole silly card game with fireworks over Mount Rushmore.
Now that America’s tarot-free season is over, we’re back to the old spiritualism. Which makes me superstitious in large part. Is it a coincidence, for example, that just as we stopped wearing masks to protect ourselves from the Twitter mobs shaming us about the Fauci-Wuhan coronavirus, we started wearing yellow and blue to protect us from the Twitter mobs shouting that we weren’t standing on the right side of history?
The penultimate card comes out of the decks of the soothsayers – the card “Hall of Mirrors”. For decades, Washington has fought Moscow indirectly – in Vietnam, Afghanistan, Syria, Rocky IV. But we can’t fight Moscow mano a mano, face to face. It’s against the rules. In tarot card diplomacy, proxy war is the closest thing to peace. The Hall of Mirrors card has an image of a smiling Goldilocks. Not too much arms trafficking. Not too many carpet bombs. Just enough. Don’t fight your enemy directly. No one knows what would happen next.
But the crowd in the streets is agitated. “Do something!” they shout. There is an election coming up. Our senile commander-in-chief draws the last card from the tarot deck. The “Human Rights” card, on which a reaper is printed.
Jason Morgan is an associate professor at Reitaku University in Kashiwa, Japan.